Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

PostHeaderIconTips About Parenting

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

There is not more important job in the world than the job of a parent. We expect men and women all over to, without any experience, raise a child for eighteen or more years and turn an infant into a functioning, happy and productive member of society. Most people only know about parenting from the parenting they themselves received as a child. This makes no sense - how many among us can say we had a great childhood? Even if you could, there certainly is room for improvement. This is no slam on our parents; they did the best they could in most cases. However, the resources now exist to understand and apply more information about parenting than ever before. Here are a couple of tips and suggestions about parenting that will help.

One of the most important things about parenting is patience. This is not a new concept, and if you were to ask your parents, they would probably agree. But the thing about parenting patience, is that it is generally misunderstood. The key to raising a child is to increase his or her ability to think for him- or herself. But therein lies a paradox: how do you teach some how to think for themselves? Unfortunately, the only way is through trial and error (with a couple of bits of advice and instruction along the way). In other words, the key to parenting is in allowing your child to make their own choices.

Of course, letting children make their own choices is a difficult and, at times, dangerous philosophy. This is where patience comes in. The thing about parenting in this way is that it is inevitable that your child will make mistakes (often to your chagrin or disappointment). This is not only natural, it is preferable. It is highly unlikely that your child is the first perfect person in the history of the world. In other words, it is just as important that your child learn what to do after they make a wrong choice as it is that they make the right choice. You can see how using this parenting philosophy is tough, but will reap excellent rewards down the road.

No one has the complete and total answer about parenting yet. Psychologists and developmental physicians understand more about parenting than ever before, but there is still a lot of work to do. But the choices you make now about parenting styles will have a profound impact for years to come.


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PostHeaderIconParenting With Love

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

What Does Parenting With Love Mean?

You may be confused when it comes to parenting. Things that your parents did may make sense to you now that you have your own children, but others may think those things are extreme, outdated, or just plain wrong. What you want to do with your children is up to you, but you should know that there are ways that you can mess up your children. Some say that parenting with love means raising children that are spoiled rotten and that will never have any respect for authority. That is not true, as love often means doing what you have to do to make sure they are safe, secure, and growing in the right direction.

Some think parenting with love means no discipline. That is not necessarily true. If you remember your parents telling you that this was going to hurt them more than it hurts you right before they paddled you, you may not want to use any type of physical punishment. That is fine, and usually nice because at times this type of discipline can go too far. However, that does not mean you do not have to find a way to get the same message across. Some parents will not do anything because they do not think their children will like them. You have to know that this is not true.

Your children look to you for guidance and boundaries. If you do not set these boundaries, they are going to do whatever they want. As you can imagine, this is not a good idea. Your children are relying on you to let them know what is acceptable and what is not. This is not something they are born knowing. Everything is new to them and they would not have any frame of reference when it comes to what is good and what is bad, though you should not put things in those terms. Let them know what is okay and what is off limits and enforce those things if you want to be parenting with love.

Some say that parenting with love means holding your babies all of the time, and others claim that this spoils a child. The truth is that you can not spoil a baby. They do not know manipulation, only how to offer honest communication and a need for love and comfort. If you are parenting with love, you are parenting them with all that you have. That means dropping everything else if they need you. They trust you to come to their aid and if you fail them, they will not know that there is anyone they can trust. As their parent, you should be there no matter what. Hold them as long as they need so they feel safe and secure.

Parenting with love does not mean letting them get out of trouble without consequence. Hopefully your children will never do things that are illegal or that hurt someone else. As much as you love them, you have to make sure they learn from those mistakes if they do those things. You can not protect them from their errors forever, but you can show them that you love them even though they have to face what they have done. If you coddle them and help them avoid penalty for something serious, they are going to carry on with such things when they leave your home. If that happens, they will be facing worse consequences that you can not interfere with in the future.


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